黑白定格，要求~

十二月二十二，

又要考试，真不好过，闷~ 昨晚就一直看着书，读笔记，本来心情还好好的；结果突然传来很重的脚步声，接着生日歌响起，原来我的楼友生日，结果吵到，书都读不到咯；不只是外面，就连自己的心里也不住的吵了起来，呵，本以为不会再有了，结果那几年的感觉回来了，虽然很不是滋味，至少我知道我还在乎，因为我还会痛，我还没有彻底放弃自己~ 结果书更不用说，不怎么能进脑而已~

今天去到学校，迟了五分钟，但是那几个‘骨啦’的家伙比我还迟~ 课没听到，一堂下来就只是在迷糊中度过~ 笔记也没温习到即可而已~ 接着两堂课也没差，上电脑课时，跟ho xin闹了一整天，ho xin 就是苍蝇，yg的新外号，自取的，结果三个人就这样笑闹了整个小时，我发现yg笑时的眼神还真美，不过到最后我们还被投诉~

然而，感觉还是被笼罩在那不安的气氛中，我知道我还没走出来，也许吧，我不懂得为自己的要求开口，不懂得怎样说我自己要的，甚至是争取，呵，退后不意味着，海阔天空；只有前进，开拓那无数的未知，为自己说要！！ 只要我还有感觉的一天，我会继续为了我的路走下去，因为我还在乎！ 那就够了！ 游戏还没有结束吧。。。

黑白定格，历险记~

十二月二十日，

只睡了四个小时，就被铃声吵醒了，今天有个很长的旅途，等着我的到来~ 首先，我要摸熟整个怡宝，才能当个合格的导游；接着，我还要买衣服...

吃了几口汤圆，就冲去载ky咯，只是怎么汤圆里面开始硬了呢？没理由~ 骑着摩多一路到怡宝jusco，全程都保持着八十时速，花费了四十五分钟，途中只是抛锚了一次，没什么，之前载yt也是发生一样的状况，再启动引擎就好了~

才停放好摩多准备走进去时，气候突然转变得很炎热，还好我们都早到，否则的话可要被烤焦了，因为我们两个都穿黑衣！！ 进去里面，眼前的景象仍旧清晰，人群也不少，围着选购衣裤~ 直接走进广场里头，逛一逛，毕竟这也是ky第一次到这里~ 上上下下好几楼还是找不到满意的地点医肚子，结果决定了吃素，不过还真的挺便宜，味道也不赖~ 吃着饭时，有个小孩子很可爱，还不懂得说话，一直对着我笑，忍不住去逗他，呵呵，还真可爱~

吃饱后，出去就进了书店，还真好，到处都是折扣，买了百多，心想破产了~ 结果这里还真没有地方好走，只好出去咯，出发到 parade 去，问好路线后，就乱摸乱撞去了~ 结果途中走错不少路，不过始终给我问到了~ ky 说这里果然不一样，有很多美眉看，衣服也多~ 结果一进去，就给我看到大减价了，又花了整百块买那些书珍藏~ 简直是个书痴~ 过后就进了一间店看衣服，说的也奇怪，看到很多同类型的女孩，还真像依颖~ 呵，结果这边选，那边嫌，顺便跟店里的员工哈拉，结果她说我二十岁 ==，无言~ 有个十五岁的小妞尽然对我评头论身，真不客气，长得美也别那么串，好歹我也是顾客~ 结果买了一套衣服就差点去撞墙~ 过后随地乱走，就准备回家了~

哟，ky 这次载回，不过还真糟糕，不懂路线的乱走一通，几乎把整个怡宝都给走完了，不过还好，几乎都会走了，哈哈！上到高速公路，走到一半结果摩多罢工了~ 一开始，还以为是小事，再发动就好咯，结果叻真是好事多磨，抛锚了~ 有谁可以想象，摩多抛锚在高速公路，求助也不是，走也不是，那有多惨啊，结果我还不理不掉的，打几通电话去求助，结果还是不行，不过也要谢谢bd特地走一趟。 只好眼看风景，还真不错，青山蓝天；不过此刻不是适合的时间，只好拦截个骑士帮忙，可惜他无能为力，最后我决定再推磨多走一段距离在启动，结果成功了，太棒了，立刻冲回家！ 半个小时后，安全到家，这是金宝的天空黑云布满了天空，开始下起连绵细雨，那是种欣慰，还是不怀好意的安慰，我也不懂，那感觉说不清~

钱我花了，可是我一定会在七年内将它以百倍地赚回来，绝对不会白花的！！

复仇

“为什么你们杀他全家，连小孩也不放过？”
“我承认我做错了决定，为何你们还不动手？”
“没必要在小孩子面前开枪，”

“如果一个人已经失去了记忆，那以往的仇恨还在吗？”
“你说，如果可以选择，他会选择忘记，还是记得这一切仇恨？”
“他不记得了，我还记得，兄弟，行动吧...”

这对白，绝对经典，我还真佩服那些做兄弟的气概，所谓的义气！
一诺千金，无论上刀山，下火海，说到的绝对做到，即使把命给抵上，也不食言，绝不言悔，不失兄弟的豪迈和气概！在这真实的社会上，尼尔我诈，还有多少义气可言？即使做兄弟的也可以为了利益反目成仇，这一切也就只会在“兄弟”身上体会到吧。

专业，这些兄弟既然答应了，就会执行他们的任务，直到成功为止，无论雇主是否已经不在了；赔上了性命也不后退，即使处身于枪林弹海之中。 这算是有勇无谋？还是拼死一搏？ 既然做了这一行，那命早就豁出去了，不再是属于你了~ 呵，有多少人又可以做得这样敬业？

很耐人寻味的问题，如果一个人没有了记忆，那他以往的仇恨还存在吗？ 全家被杀，事情的的却却的发生，可是仇恨是建立在执着和记忆上，一旦没了这些记忆，那仇恨也随着消失吗？

杜琪峰啊，杜琪峰，你的作品还是一贯的作风，总是反映和讥讽着社会的黑暗，赞！

密友牌，绿色汤圆~

第一年，不是吃自家牌汤圆，而是密友牌汤圆，别有一番风味~

吃汤圆，吃汤圆，意义何谓？ 象征着长大一岁了，思想也成熟一岁了，健康平安~

原本落定于星期二的冬至，由于考试，只好提早吃汤圆咯，星期五晚上，几个人浩浩荡荡来到我家，开始揉汤圆~ 还记得上次的教训，这次学乖了，材料买对了~ 结果摘错叶子，把茅草误当成香草，还真离谱~

人说半夜去偷鸡；我跟yg却是半夜去偷草，说真的，还真无厘头，明明旁边有一堆香草不拔，却拔那些嫩的，为了几片叶，却把整株连根拔起，还被发现！做贼的不急，那个在旁边看的却贼头贼脑的溜走，嘴巴憋得紧紧的，不像样... 皇帝不急太监急，唉！

一回到家，xl还是在玩着那一关mario，仍然往那洞里跳... 而ky拿着麻将纸当球棍...jw就晃来晃去~ 开工了，这时候hx才来，一堆人围在桌子开始各自的任务，拌糯米粉，揉汤圆，哈拉... 见识了每个地方不同的汤圆文化，北部的汤圆五颜六色，大小中等；马六甲的汤圆娇小可爱，却只有红白；沙巴的汤圆里面是有馅的，巧克力！各自大展身手，结果到最后却来个糯米粉大战，三太子，小丑，小白脸都出场...大家玩的不亦乐乎吧~ 有艺术天分的我们，当然，推出一系列的绿色汤圆，配合地球日，哈，巧合吧~

两包粉，半包却拿来玩，浪费~ 弄好后，整张桌子都不成样子，地上到处都看得到遗留的战绩，还真行~ 结果吃了咖啡巧克力汤圆，味道还真不赖，这xl还真有点女生的样子了，哈~
全部人都在亢奋状态，结果各自就来个赌局，话局和游戏局，直到半夜四点才罢~

第二天下午，午餐后直接回来煮汤圆，期待已久了~ 跟着步骤一步一步来，yg这时候大展身手，跟她的准没错，不懂，至少煮东西比yt可靠，哈哈~ 那几个简直不像样，边玩边等吃~
第一轮的汤圆出炉了，可惜糖水不够甜，汤圆不够熟，沙谷没有泡水~ 勉强吃完第一轮的汤圆，吸取教训后，第二轮就开始了~ 糖水下十四茶匙，汤圆让他们滚久点，沙谷先浸水再煮；其实第二轮的由两个女的弄，至于男的开赌局，哈哈~ 汤圆好了，吃了之后，简直一流，不错不错，高手煮的就是不一样~ 在这里要称赞一下yg, 这女的绝对可以娶回家了，准没错，该有的都齐了，只需要每个月准备两百帮她烫直头发就行了，否则别人还以为娶了一个女佣回家~

这次的回忆，值得珍惜，在里头，学会了不少东西，领悟也不少；最要紧的是这是不一样的汤圆，里头装满了快乐与友情~

黑白定格，迷失

“如果有任何读心理学的人看你写的文章，都看得出你这个人很有问题。”
“你这个人没有生活目标，你只是为了活而活，只是一个没有灵魂的躯壳，行尸走肉。”
“就当为了自己，找个目标吧，这样子下去你只会堕落。”

迷惘，一直伴随着；
没有目标，活着只是浪费；
懒惰，只是个借口；
了解，却没去做，读死书不如无书；
思考，停止，只是个模型；
局限，生活于故事，没有了自由；

已经一年了，我已经消失了一年了，
一切，仿佛不是属于我的，
不在乎？ 有问题？
责怪，面对，承受，转换，
负起责任，我才会回来~

遗憾，让我觉得好无力~

突然间，觉得自己很无力~

这几天，把自己的心情调得好好的，也尽可能不让它受影响；结果，还真的，过得很不错；当以为一切都会很好时，却被突如其来的一幕，破坏了所有的心情，一切都灰飞烟灭~

原来，最痛苦的，最难受的，不是接受别人的批评；更不是因为接二连三的倒霉事情；而是遗憾~ 即使被人批评，即使再倒霉都好，都可以去扭转，以明朗的心态去面对，只要过得充实，同样可以过得很开心~ 可是遗憾叻，一个被埋在心里好久好久的遗憾，却被突如其来的事情，它可以是一篇短讯，也可以是一张照片，甚至是熟悉的眼神；给触发了，无法挽回的遗憾，把所有的晴朗给吞噬了，突然间觉得好难过，好无力...

人生即使过得再辛苦，即使过得再无聊，没有意义都好，千万别让你的生命出现任何遗憾； 因为，遗憾，并不会随着时间而消失，它只会跟随着你往后的日子，它是一辈子的，直到你把它带入土里，在你的生命里留下那无形的伤痕~ 即使你的生活过得再开心，过得再充实；可是当你想起时，遗憾将会是你人生中的瑕疵，即使再怎样完美都好~

有些人一生都活在遗憾之中，看不见那已失去的笑容，一副忧愁的眼神，说不出的悲伤，仿佛陷入沧桑，痛苦一直在轮回，无止无尽... 那一刻，最清楚的，也是历经沧桑的人，那感觉更是刻骨~

面对现实，可以微笑；然而面对遗憾呢，只有那说不出的悲哀~
遗憾，既然已经形成了，唯有努力地活着，让它成为你人生中的最后一个遗憾~

Shit, damn helmet~

Dear diary,

My life today seemed cannot get rid from helmet~
In morning, my main helmet was borrowed by someone~ In afternoon,after having dark rice for my lunch, i had a meeting with friends...

Finally, deal with the business... Then we planned to go tesco, reboosting our stock and also registering for friends... Then, wait for wj's motor, after getting the key, we straightly went to tesco. Before this, jiwawa borrow a helmet from her friend, starting, i feel quite weird, why that helmet so brownish inside, in fact it should be black in colour. But, i didnt think much of it, just let jiwawa to wear it...

After we reached there, and finished our purposes and paid money, we had our dinner in kfc... But somehow i gt knew a truth... Ya, i know who m i... Then, after the rain fell, we went back...

That helmet borrowed was soaked wet with rain water, in fact it was flooding with water, then after poured out the water inside, the horrible thing was gonna to happen. I use a tissue paper to mop inner side of helmet,

shit!!! it turn blackish!!!

the only thing i can describe is, helmet is a very good reactant, when it come in touch with tissue,raw material, they react vigorously, turning the white colour of tissue into black within seconds...

Hei, please la, wash your helmet la, seemed like never wash for years, leaving layer of thick dirt inside, so disgusting; otherwise dont borrow others la! Damn it, from your helmet, i can know exactly how you are, no wonder la ur !@@#$%%^&*

If u cannot ensure the cleaniness of helmet, the most important protecting equipment for rider; how can you take care and ride the motor well? substitute it into your life la, damn it!!

End 

Black and White ( Frame fixing) - The Ugly Truth

13 December,

Hav u all ever try before, doing everything well but there sure would be someone that not satisfy with you, there sure be someone dislike you, even u try ur best to make it perfect dy...

The answer is yes, in this world there sure will be someone resists you, even your best friends, your family and your life partner. Most of them always complain here complain there, although u think that isnt the matter. Perhaps they say they do so is for your own good, they do so is because they care of you, but you will never reach their hopes...

Some even worse, they will insult you until you hav naked shown to everyone...
Upset, give up, cannot help, despair; the feeling that flooded ur mind...
Someone complain, not handsome enough,not tall enough,too fat, cold blooded, always talking crap, no sentiment and sensibility, when looking others, keep staring until everyone afraid of it, when you don see anyone then your eyes look dizzy, the results is weak, useless, even scold you idiot, stupid...

What can we do? Even we do ald but they still not satisfy with it...
Ya, i know, i hav not any strong ability, i m not important, i hav poison mouth, i m selfish, i hav bad tempered, even when compare to others, i m nothing... ya, really nothing... but what i can do, only accept all of these with smily face, dont care about it, keeping making topic... you all say this my benefits, with such baring and dont care with these... really sarcastic... such thinking is just self-deceiving.  optimistic? coward. the real truth, the ugly truth of me...

Fine, u all consider these as coward, so what? I accept, so what? Dont think you can get the good feedback from everyone, what you can do is care of yourself,although everyone has abandoned you, trust yourself, dont need to heed them, all they talk are actually crap...but in somewhere, actually i care...

It is ur own trust? or just self-deceiving?

If everyone care, nobody cry; if everyone love, nobody lie...

 

I m be the one i gonna use to be....

Neither someone, nor something can alter my life and my mind,
i will be myself, no one shall hav any ideas to blame or complain my way,
i m lazy, yes i m;
i m not talented, yes i admit;
i m stupid, yes i never reject;
but i m who and what i do, that is my choice, that is my freedom; as long i comfort with it.

Dont simply say us, dont simply make decision and figure out me, no one will like..

Freaking out! Wat the hack is me, thats my matter...
No offense,
I m gonna to rock my life,
r-o-c-k, rock....                     

R O C K !!!

Can you hear me?!

Black and White(Frame Fixing)- Turning

13 December,

Turning point of life,
everyone is searching and seeking for, meaningful and the real life that we desire...

Time, environment,people and failure turning a person's personality, excruciating the mind and also heart,causing he or she dismay.

Yesterday, i met a friend, when i saw her, when i talked to her, she turned to be other, no more the one that i hav recognized before. The one that i know b4 was full with confidence, being a leader among friends, argue with anyone that had offended her rules, persist in her decision as long as she think it is true...

Now, no more, she had changed, becoming weak, soft, wont resist when others humiliating her, and the most obvious thing is she is tired. Failure, her life never turned to be well in this half years, because of bad results, torturing her to become weak, even burst out crying as she cannot sustain from pressure, her life that she don like...

She live the way that she not gonna to be... she is lost, really lost...

She need to find her turning point of life, get rid from this suffering life... Be the one that she gonna be...

This is the life of college, the life of university, facing the ugly truth of society... University is not the really hopeful and the place that we desired b4, we are being cheated by primary and secondary school teachers... The real life in university is not really that ideal place as imagined by teachers...

Perhaps there is someone and those that are not agree with me, at here we need to figure out and bare with the life that we dislike, but somehow we can choose the way we gonna use to be, choose the life we want, we just need the chance, the turning of life...

I want to see her again, the one that i knew her b4, i m gonna to help her; from her back, i can see myself that had lost b4, she needs a hand, and i m gonna to lend her my hand...

There is always the way in front if we want,
the turning point of life,
is just in front of ur very eyes,
depend on u wanna to step up or not.....

黑白定格，可悲~

十二月十一日，

刚刚看完好几个人的部落格，还是有些话想写出来，老套归老套，可惜人还是这样，也不差再说多一次~

恋爱的季节，恰似花季，盛开绽放，枯萎凋谢，花开花落；而感情，也就像片落叶，随风飞走，留下的只是昔日的灿烂~ 恋情，并非链情，将自己和对方锁得死死的，从内到外~ 一段恋情没了就是没了，何必耿耿于怀，放不下将自己缠着~ 换回来的只是那道链所留下来的印痕；有些人不会闷也很爱演，总是重复着同样的悲剧，充当同样的角色- 悲剧主角；宁愿被伤害，宁愿伤害自己，也不愿面对寂寞，面对心里的无底洞；也许吧，人在面对黑暗与未知时，总是那么害怕...

被甩，就找替身，然后再甩人；这样子的人无疑生活没有重点，该可怜他们？无谓浪费精力去同情他们，就像个无底洞那样，填都填不满~

其实，黑暗，寂寞，习惯，放下，重新再来也没那么难而已，以前觉得很糟糕，其实面对之后都觉得还好，一切就在于你肯或不肯，在于一个字‘念’。

有时候也很好笑，信任，有些人总是容易相信别人，却不信自己；其实自己是属于你的，最坦诚，最真实；你不信任自己也是因为你自己都欺骗着自己，所以才会被入侵...

可悲，何谓悲，一个非，建立在自己的心上；当你所做的一切，都在违背着自己的心时，这种人才叫可悲~

回到过去

想回到过去

试着让故事继续

至少不再让你离我而去

分散时间的注意

这次会抱得更紧

不知这样挽留还来不来得及

想回到过去...

思绪不断阻挡着回忆播放
盲目的追寻仍然空空荡荡
灰蒙蒙的夜晚睡意又不知躲到哪去
一转身孤单已躺在身旁...

这几天，心情，就像回到过去，试着让故事继续，

不解，烦，从外之内；不散，倔，从感而发；

追求，内心的寂静；驱除，不满的怨恨；

想回到过去，

无忧无虑的世界，还有一片微笑的世界，

三五成群，在教室里嬉闹，

一切都成为回忆~

不晓得，还会持续多久；

直到我回来那天...一切都会变好~ 

Frame fixing(Black and White) - Everyone is doing the same things.

10 of December,

Dear friends, dear ppl,

This few days were in moody mode, felt not in mood in talking, or else, no more in observing life. In fact,many noises came into my ears, from outside and also from inside, making me to feel annoying.

But something in common that i had found was, everyone is doing the same things.
Boredom had set in, i could feel i was surrounded by depressing feelings, muggy or else, making everyone behaved very mechanically,trying to cover or disperse the loneliness feeling inside themselves.

Everyone has different methods and actions to express out such feelings...
What i could see was? someone started to become hyperactive or should say become naughty,compare with past~ someone starting to snap their own pictures,for fun? or else?~ someone looked dizzy and lay on table laziness~ someone kept themselves busy,doing assignment just in case to move away their concentration~ someone kept talking about others, repeated the same topic, for again and again~
While me? argue or mocking someone, kept silence~

Somehow, some ppl can hide these feelings very well with these actions, even convincing themselves to forget this feelings~ However, some ppl not only cannot cover their feelings, but exposed to everyone through their weird actions...

But what i could feel is, whoever hide it well or not, from their cover, they are busy and their days seemed to be very enrich, the truth is inside their heart, an empty~ blankness~  

When you can live forever, then what do you live for?

When you can live forever, what do you live for?

In the past,and also now, many ppl want to stay alive and wont turn to become old forever... Some even spend their whole life time to find this secret, find out the way to live forever. But what point if can live forever?

A very famous movie, Twilight, no one will feel strange to it... In the movie, those vampires hav forever life and wont die unless being killed by silver weapons with holy water~

Sometimes, i feel pity to those vampires, those can live forever but need to hide themselves from others, wondering their identity will exposed and all dangers come for them. Live and young forever, repeating the same life,same days,even no more excitement...no target, no mean, just to live for live... Anyone can imagine their feelings? terrible n even feel that there is a hole in their heart and cant be filled forever,everyday being tortured and licked up by loneliness.

Even worse, when the vampires find the truth love, but is a human being that cannot live forever like them. the human beings will decade and finally die by time. They need to face the ugly truth that their another half turning old day by day, and even die and become lifeless by their very own eyes, despite of live forever.  Who can affort with these feeling and bring this regret forever?

I still remember the main character,Edward Cullen say that the most painful things for him is cannot die even commit suicide. And also say that he can live for, but what do him live for? Love, for them, hav a limit of time, and finally also left nothing. The most struggle things to him is he dont want to turn his lover to become one of them, but he need to see his lover to become old and die.

Such melancholy and meaningless life, no  one will say yes...

If you can live forever, what do you live for?

Back to reality, as  a student in university, what do we live for?
Everyday keep repeating the same lives, even worse pass the life that we don like,even hate it. Examination, presentation and assignment, the only facts in our uni lives, boring and no point, then why we still want to pass such freak lives?
No choice, no options, what do we live for?

Look like very busy and full lives, but the fact is emptiness, blankness lives...

Many say that we can decide the life that we want, try to enjoy and find freedom from our lives, but hw many of you can do so? loneliness, boring which make u feel that u feel hard to gasp for air...

Is this the lives that we want?
Is that our uni lives?

Black and White(Frame fixing)- Confidence

5 of December，

Indeed a long session and tired day....
Having meeting in subang jaya,if nt mistaken...

11am depart, ben fetched me,after having breakfast,then straightly went Kl...
We reached kl about one something noon, and then went to mc d to buy our dinner~
I had double cheese burger to fill my appetite but its taste nt tat good if compare with genting one... Whole journey, i kept sleeping while tat pig lady talked to the phone whole time, even eating also answer the call~

However, we reached our destination sharp at 3... Somehw, both of me n pig lady felt dizzy n she was worsen,wanna vomit~ We found we r the first to reach since i thought we were late for meeting~

During the meeting, the speaker always be irene and jeffrey... Well, actually i quite like them because of their honour in job, respecting n believing their company, thats the main fact that they can success... wow, today indeed a valuable session, learned lots of things especially skills ~ Cool, i like it, finally can handle out all problems~

Somehw, among 21 persons gt 3 in us call kelly, so we just call them kelly1,2, and 3~ however, today gt a gorgeous lady present for meeting, kelly, 27, a very polite n soft girl, hav a beautiful voice~ ben seemed to be interested with her but he let go the chance,wooo....

After meeting, we had our dinner at restaurant which was just a stone's throw away distance from meeting hall...We had a very enjoyable dinner there~ then, went back to kampar,reached hostel at 1 am, although there is some scaring scene on the way back, but we still reached here safety.... 

My cute biaomei~

She is really cute,right?

Sure be a big beauty after grow up,

My little cute biao mei,

wish u grow up with healthy,

full with joys and laughs,

no worries, no tears...

Next time when i see u,

sincerely,

hope to hear u call me

" ge ge"

释放~快感

漆黑的夜里，微光，隐约散发~ 遥远的路灯~

此刻，手握着操盘，脚踩尽油门，在马路上狂奔，感受车子直奔的声音，感受那股冲劲，所带来的刺激和快感，才感受到自己还活着，真真实实~ 那种刺激的快感，就像从高楼坠落的那种失去重量感的感觉，感受不到自己的心跳的那种虚无感。 这快感与男女激情邂逅后释放的快感截然不同~ 好享受这种感觉，活着，真好~

半夜，赤裸裸的，在洗澡间里，黑暗里，偶尔感受到从窗外照射进来的微光，独自发抖着，淋着冷水~
那股冰寒感，从上到下直入心扉，刺辣辣的，才感受到自己终于被解放~

这快感，才感觉到真我，被释放~ 同时，也意味着改变~

Purple? Yellow?

Yellow brand new racket, super ace under kx company, finally hav own racket; although it cost me for hundred something, but i still feel that it is valuable; not all because of its right feeling but also due to tauke niao's politeness that infecting me to buy it~

Yellow, bright colour,bring activeness n youth; tats why i choose it~ Tauke tell me, younger ppl should choose brighter colour, feeling young, she very enjoy the youth n young feeling although she is aunty; so as a young man, why should i choose purple such deep n dump colour?

Finally，i accept her suggestion, picking whole yellow match handling~ youth~

Inside deep reckless of my heart, i hav two extremely different of myself,yellow n purple~ In front of everyone, i choose the former one as usual what i always do, but today onward, i m going to turn another self of me, purplish yellow~  

Blacak and white(Frame fixing) - Learning~

4 of December,

As usual,programming class,learning all weird codes,not actually like it much than more i expect~ Everyone seem to be very hardworking n clever, as if only leaving me behind the track~

Lunch time, also as usual, ate in canteen, today she was in blue,gorgeous,only word to describe her, but she still seemed like suffer from sleepness, her eyes, still her eyes~ After having lunch, taking hy back n go to buy badminton racket, didnt know why, just decided to buy it, my own racket. Then followed by fetching hy to take her debit card, finally she brought her ic, but somehw i found my motor nt very well in condition 2day~

Having meeting at jw's house, discussing about talk show outline, when starting all discussed in great tune, but somehw when hx came to us, all ideas being rejected. Cant refused, she was n she is a good leader, showing her grace to infuse to our group, in turn making me seem to be selfish n stupid. Well, finally came to a dicision, n everyone accept the idea, choose a safe n real talkshow, food poisoning~

Going to get my racket, somehw fate was nt on my side, droplets of rain water can be seen falling, but still insist to take racket~ Carelessness, without awareness, whole motor crashed into roadside. The droplets of rain water turned into heavy downpour, it seemed to stop me from riding motor to take racket, preventing the accident occured, but i still persist in to make it happened. Ya,sincerely, in whole group, i m the one tat seemed to be nt distributing at anything at all, i should learn from them~

Learning, never be too late~

Rubbish

Rubbish,if someone using this phrase to describe him/her self,what does it means?

Midnight,as usual,b4 closing my eyes,the watch showed 3.30am,glanced on it~
Didnt know for how long i had slept, suddenly the phone rang. Immediately took up the hp, straightly listened to it,couldnt open my eyes~

A familiar sound came from another side of the phone, i knew that was u... But ur voice sounded like taking alcohol~ five thirty still not yet slept, called me, finding someone to talk with u~

But, u still the same, surrounded by the same problems, same attitude, same life~
Always complain ur life, complain ur family members dont care n understand about u~
When i listened u talking about the same things, actually i had no means to talk with u anymore~ I knew i m blind to know u such kind of friend, brought lots of suffers to me, to my memories~ u describe urself as rubbish, but u decided to stand up to get rid of such life~ but did u know that, when u said tat u r rubbish, u r actually gave up urself ald... u say u wanna screw up urself, such kind of words i had listened for again n again, but u nvr done it~ i m already give up n feel disappointed to u~ hopeless~

B4 put off the call, u said u will show me the brand new of u~ Hmm... i know u wont,never~ever~ rubbish...

When u say u r rubbish,it means u don hav means to turn urself,rubbish~

黑白定格，醒悟~

十二月二日记，

与往常没两样，课照上，屁照放，不同的是总算睡饱了~

来到学校，wfs导师，达姐还是照惯例地自导自爽地讲起来，高招的是把测验安排到最后考，不过倒是挺本事的；要怎样形容叻，就拿白老鼠试验来说好了~

开课前，全部人老鼠似的活泼乱跳；开课后，可以发现几个家伙摇摇欲坠，就像刚被chloroform 熏过的老鼠；半个小时后，有几个趴在桌上不省人事，就像那些晕掉的老鼠那样；一个小时后测验，整群人就像那些被摆在桌上的老鼠，任刀叉在肚皮上穿誜；然而不一样的是，测验完后，所有人又变回龙，那些白老鼠的命运就没那么好了，被分解，就连死前挣扎的机会都没有~

回到话头，有时候也得佩服讲师，同样的东西，我们听一次就要生不死了，她还能活生生地一直重复同样的话题~ 好说，我根本没听课，就是拿着我的书在那看，不过她却提到 man's activities 也包括女性的活动，不错，至少有听进一些东西~

吃饱后，也像往常一样去食堂楼上，打从图书馆关了之后，一直都是这样~ 今天不同的是，没睡觉，在看书，至于今天不懂是什么日子，特别服务，三个女生既然来个即兴，帮我弄发型，结果弄了整个钟，最后的发型终于出炉了，我给它命名为‘白搞’。xl还是找碴跟我吵，对此，只有三个字送给她~

数学课，又像往常那样，他讲他的圣经，我读我的佛经~ 今天的她，状态看似很不错，结果还是和昨天那样，不够睡的样子；带起眼镜来，摆个很优雅的pose,做起tutorial来，字体挺大的，至于字形就没注意到~ 不过重点是，我终于懂得为何她的眼神为何恍惚，大大却空洞的感觉了，就像洋娃娃那样；原来不是她做出来的，而是近视配戴眼镜的关系，看不清楚然后一直睁大眼睛寻觅，才会有这样的感觉~ 可笑，我竟然一直忽略了这一点，就像我照镜子那样，看不清楚得这样做；然而可以说的是，这点竟然让她成为个优势，只要懂得使用就会很棒，然而没注意一直这样的话会让人觉得不舒服；不过老实说，我还是比较喜欢她那自信时的笑容和眼神，通常在她高谈阔论时看得到~

课完人散，不过今天，你似乎认得我是谁了，期待下次跟你的接触~

醒悟，谁都懂，可是要做到，并不容易~ 一段感情，要嘛就拿起，要嘛就放下；就像黑跟白那样，不要拖拖拉拉的，停留在灰色阶段，剩下就只是痛苦~ 选择白，就去争取，哪怕刀山火海，即使失败，也有交代。 选择黑，就把它埋起来，学会面对她，面对这段感情，不要一直提起。 这里说放弃，那边一直提，兜兜转转，你还是没摆脱得了她，感情没有婆婆妈妈的，要断，就彻底断，不要再钻牛角尖；看到她，就去面对，堂堂正正跟她说嗨，不需要逃避，要放下她就要面对她，面对自己的心~ 任凭心再痛，再不甘，痛了才会走出来！

黑白定格，观察灰界~

十二月一日记，

告别灰蒙蒙的十一月，踏入十二月头；决定了以黑白命名为这个月的主题~
撇开那花花绿绿的世界，七彩缤纷的视野；用黑白定格这人生，所有的一切都回归黑白，就像几十年代的黑白电视那样~ 七彩缤纷的世界只会蒙蔽着自己，看不清别人，也看不清自己；用黑白定格观摩人生，只有黑白两面，或许人生会简单一些，看人看事也透彻些~

正如我所说的，即使这世界是五颜六色的；可是在多数人心里存在着却是灰色的视野，灰色的边界，没有任何颜色；既然如此，就把世界黑白化，让所有的假象，事实遁形，赤裸裸地，黑与白~

   今天，黑白棋格外套，以黑白为穿着的我如往常地踏入亚社会-大学~ 结果，这样子的外套，棋盘？斑马？我说都有吧，对我来讲，这人生应该像这棋盘一样，每走一步，非黑，既白。或许有人会说，少了颜色，生命就不会精彩；我说，少一分色彩，多一份真实。 或许有人会说，灰色，也有它的美，也有它自己的哲理；我说，黑白，有它的果断，也有它自己的定理。斑马，最会以黑白条纹掩饰自己，咱们叻？也用黑白来掩饰自己，开掘那灰色的世界~

物理课，催眠课，凡事必须守着那事物本生宇宙不变的定律来走，就像法律，靠！就没点创意，那所谓的创意，背后还是得遵守着宇宙定律；看穿了，那创意也不过是个掩饰，任由飞机再会飞，最后还不是得落地~ 课上到一半，脸就贴在纸上，不是睡觉；而是在违反定律，用鼻子嗅嗅是否可以分辨得到那字体，结果倒是没嗅出什么，人已经在空中行走了，睡了~

就这样，物理就过了，反而人还是那样，累死了~ 结果又照惯例的，四处放债，吃饭没带钱，去~ 吃饱了，要干嘛，还用说，当然是睡觉啦，难道学那些猪啊，没事情做啃书~ 就这样睡着，两个小时又过了，反正我一天也就只有十二个小时，给它去啦~

醒后，要嘛去厕所，不然就去上课，轮到电脑课，总算有精神听了，眼睛四处扫描；今天很稀有，竟然选择坐前面，应该是今天hy很不错吧，其实黑白定格来看，她算是个美女啦，脾气好两颗牙突出来的，挺可爱嘛，到哪里去找~ 今天一心两用，一边上所谓的正课，一边上我自身的课；第一次那么专心，奇迹~ 今天很utar的她出现在楼梯旁，虽然人是在那边，可是却无精打采，不用看也知道昨天她跟周公来场笔战；眼神恍恍惚惚的，在她眼里看到的是空洞洞的，黑得很无边无际，结果寂寞先生很可爱地说认不出她~ 好笑，她就是她，那点不一样？可是他却没说错，的确这时候的她是另外一个人~ 结果上课到一半，她趴在桌上睡着了，很可爱的是醒来时整个人软绵绵的靠在椅上，不会吧~

话说课完换班，化学，进班前一刻，她的举止，给我发现到一样事情，我之前所说的没有错，人在不是很清醒的时候会透露出她潜在的性格，灰色，有很强的占欲感，很可笑的是，我看到了她平时不会做出来的事情，幼稚~ 像一个讨不到糖果吃的小妹妹那样，那个表情~ 一个既想叛逆，那叛逆思维，就像个小孩子那样；所以才会有那样子的眼神吧~ 没有跟她相处过，还不能将她定格，至于意识方面的她跟其它女生没两样~ 有时候会想，她很懂得利用眼神，交际能力应该有一手，至于她晓不晓得那我就不得而知~ 在班里，看清她黑眼圈有够黑，好像在画眼线那样,听课时，平时的她又出现了，应该是她习惯性所产生出来的性格吧~ 你的思想行为非常灰色，白，顺从；黑，叛逆；灰，思想徘徊，可能是懒惰，怯步；不如换换黑白定格看看，做个极端性的你~ 目前，我只是看到三个她，陆续还会有几个新的她出现，天晓得~

一边上课，我就一边读笔记，忘了印纸；结果只听到什么arene,benzane，啦啦啦之类的~ 这时发现Lisa姐的怪举止，哈，这样磨法，指甲不完蛋才怪~ 不冷不热，无惊无险，完课，是时间准备考试了~

今天好冷，吃饱后温书，结果发现了奇怪的举止，眼神好像是在逃避这某人，不管啦，结果考试时，别提了，没眼看~