Rubbish

Rubbish,if someone using this phrase to describe him/her self,what does it means?

Midnight,as usual,b4 closing my eyes,the watch showed 3.30am,glanced on it~
Didnt know for how long i had slept, suddenly the phone rang. Immediately took up the hp, straightly listened to it,couldnt open my eyes~

A familiar sound came from another side of the phone, i knew that was u... But ur voice sounded like taking alcohol~ five thirty still not yet slept, called me, finding someone to talk with u~

But, u still the same, surrounded by the same problems, same attitude, same life~
Always complain ur life, complain ur family members dont care n understand about u~
When i listened u talking about the same things, actually i had no means to talk with u anymore~ I knew i m blind to know u such kind of friend, brought lots of suffers to me, to my memories~ u describe urself as rubbish, but u decided to stand up to get rid of such life~ but did u know that, when u said tat u r rubbish, u r actually gave up urself ald... u say u wanna screw up urself, such kind of words i had listened for again n again, but u nvr done it~ i m already give up n feel disappointed to u~ hopeless~

B4 put off the call, u said u will show me the brand new of u~ Hmm... i know u wont,never~ever~ rubbish...

When u say u r rubbish,it means u don hav means to turn urself,rubbish~